Nov 08 2008
Where is the help? Slipping through the cracks.
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I know they say you can’t help everyone, but damn it why on earth can’t we try? I came home from the convenience store tonight frustrated and saddened by what happened while I was there. I had walked over to the little shop / gas station to get some fresh air and a soda. My caffeine craving had kicked in and I figured a short walk would do me some good. The kids were in their usual Friday night ritual of watching Star Wars Clone Wars before bedtime, and I thought I’d grab them some Nutter Butters or Sour Cream chips for a fun snack after a long day.
I gathered up a handful of items and headed to the cashier in the front of the store sort of dazed in my own little world. The store was mostly empty except for myself, the cashier, a woman buying a lottery ticket, and the second clerk taking inventory for the night. When I got to the register we were making the usual small talk, I walk over there often so they are used to seeing me and asked how the boys were doing. Suddenly an alarm starts going off, beeping loudly.
There was a man at the gas pump, attempting to pump gas into a car that was either magical invisible or solely existed in his own mind. I thought to myself, “maybe he has a gas can and I just can’t see it because of the pillars…” The cashier pressed the com button and asked the gentlemen if he needed help. I looked out the window and saw the man was coming inside now, facing forward with a blank expression and fumbling in his coat pocket for something.
The cashier asked if he needed help with the pump and if he was trying to fill a gas can. The man replied, “May I see it, sir?” The cashier looked puzzled, and I waited quietly for a moment. The man said something that none of us seemed to understand. The store had stopped as if frozen in time. My items were on the counter, the cashier asked again if he could help the gentlemen, the woman held her lottery ticket in her left hand, but didn’t move to walk away even though she had already paid.
After what felt like the longest minute ever the cashier called for the second clerk to come to the front and help the gentlemen, and he went back to tallying my items from the counter. The woman with the lottery ticket walked slowly past and out to her car. The confused gentlemen asked again, “May I see it, sir?” To which the second clerk replied, “I”m not sure what you need, but I’d like to help.” The confused gentlemen reached into his pocket again, and pulled out a wad of paper and crumpled envelope with masking tape on it and tried to hand it to the second clerk.
Second clerk “What is this? What are you giving me, sir?”
The confused man said, “It’s to pay for the gas. Here.”
Second clerk, “This is not money, sir. You haven’t pumped any gas.”
The confused man said, “May I see it, sir? Look at it.” at which point he let go the paper and envelope and it fell to the floor. I could see that it was just blank paper.
He repeated again, “May I see it, sir?”
The cashier had stopped tallying my items and said, “I’ll be right back, Miss.” and he carefully reached under the counter for the telephone and walked out of the confused man’s line of sight and began to dial. He was calling for help. Help that may or may not come, and may or may not help. He returned and gave me my total. I paid for my things and took my bag of snacks and my bottle of soda from the counter. The second clerk was trying to keep the confused man distracted without upsetting him, and got him to move a few steps left of the register area.
I quietly said to the cashier, “Please, don’t let him leave until the help arrives. This road is pretty busy right now. Did they say how long they’d be?” Sadly the cashier told me this was the third time in two weeks that the confused man had come to their gas pump and then come inside. This had happened before, and he had phoned for help before. I asked if he wanted me to stay and help keep the man calm until someone came since they didn’t know how long it would be. He told me he’d prefer me to go home, because the man can get quite upset after a length of time.
Why wasn’t he somewhere safe? Why wasn’t someone doing something to help him? Why wasn’t someone taking care of him? Why wasn’t he placed into a proper facility to receive proper care? My mind was full of frustrated questions the entire way home and the rest of the evening. Perhaps he was uninsured and didn’t have family to stay with. What if he was living alone?
Where is the help? It makes me so sad to see people in need care just slipping through the cracks of the system. The confused man was obviously in need of some care and supervision. Assisted living at the very least. He was wandering around town alone, after dark, and clearly confused. Surely after the police came to remove him he would be even more confused.
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Oh wow Loretta, that is so scary and so sad
It’s so sad to think that someday that could be one of us lost and confused and society so unwilling to help.
your story encapsulates one of the biggest problems our nation suffers: not taking care of the mentaly infirm. and the saddest part of all is that the only way that guy is going to get any “help” is if he hurts or tries to hurt someone else. and that “help” will probably be prison.
Wow, that is a very sad story Martha. It is amazing how a human being can get so low, and be confused or hallucinating as to what is going on around him. Perhaps, the reason why he was not helped, is because we live in a capitalist nation. A nation where, everyone cares of themselves, I guess alot of people in the world go around with the mentality of “What’s in it for me?”. Perhaps the economic troubles got to the man.
To be perfectly honest, I am not sure what I would have done in that situation. But I do wonder a few things….. How did he look Martha? Was he well dressed? Did he look homeless?
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That was some great writing. While I was reading your post, I was picturing the story. That’s kind of creepy, but if it happened before, then I sympathize for that person. Sometimes I wonder to myself how things can go wrong and somebody can be left alone and isolated. That’s why I try to keep in contact with at least few friends. I don’t want that to happen to me.
That is sad. Mental health issues are close to my heart. Unfortunately, it all comes down to money, if he is uninsured, a shelter is the only place he can stay. Even there they can’t force him to stay put or be safe. Heartbreaking indeed.
It breaks my heart to think that my husband or one of my sons could be just like that man one day. Unfortunately, the mentally ill can only get help if they let people help them. I truly hope that someone was able to help that man. It was wonderful of you to offer to stay and help.
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This post hits home. I’m still not back to where I was prior to 9/11 and have no idea when I’ll get back to that quality of life.
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